It’s release day! I know, I know – this is a technicality, since the big online stores have been shipping my book early already, and I had one early signing event, etc. But it is the release day for the ebook! So if you’ve been waiting to get your electronic hands on the ebook of “A Ragged Magic,” now is your chance! Order from Amazon or Barnes & Noble at any time! And here’s the reminder that my first author reading event is this week on Friday, 11/21 at 7pm at the University Bookstore. There will be cake after. (Confirmed!) {Added: Your reminder that you can also order this book from any bookstore you like – your local indie shops, or your big indie online shops like Powells, are perfectly happy to order it for you. Go books!}

In honor of release day, here’s a little something I wrote about writing, rewriting, love, loss, and perseverance.

It took me 18 years to write my first book.

All right, that’s not strictly true – it took me 2 years to write my first book. The first time.

I was 23 years old, finishing my college degree, working two jobs, all the trimmings. While waiting for a bus outside on a spring day, hoping it wouldn’t rain, I pulled my notebook out and started writing – as usual. A character showed up in my head. The first line of the story flowed down, the beginnings of that first scene flowed down, and I felt fantastic. Story was often easy, then. Maybe not great, or even good, but it showed up when I asked for it, and I wrote it down. Some of those words are still in that first chapter – some of them were Good Enough, even after all this time, to stay.

The character is a young woman in a lot of trouble, and she is going to be in more trouble before she gets herself out of it. It’s one of my favorite story types: someone in over their head, scrambling for ways out of a tidal wave of trouble. Sometimes the trouble is of their own making, but often it’s trouble that happens despite them, or to spite them. Trouble that crashes down without warning and screws everything up. I have always been drawn to stories with sudden, irreversible life implosion. Possibly because when I’m reading a story, the life that’s imploding isn’t mine.

I’ve had life implode on me a few times now. Sometimes implosions make for good stories, long after the fact. Usually while they’re happening I’m too busy scrambling and swearing. Maybe that’s why I enjoy reading that kind of story – what does life look like after it’s imploded? How do you continue on afterward? What kind of patchwork comes out of it?

It took some months after those first words to realize this particular story about a young woman in so much trouble was becoming a novel. I was nervous. A whole novel? Written by me? So daunting. With a lot of help from friends, I managed to finish it after about 2 years. I started submitting it to editors and agents, following all the rules of submission I could find in those very early internet days. I spent precious money on publisher’s guides. I started finding far-flung writer friends, and attending conventions. I paid money to print the whole dang manuscript out. I paid money to mail it around. I kept a notebook and my favorite pens with me all the time. Story still felt like a thing I could do, like the one thing I wanted to do.

After a year or two of submitting (and waiting), I got my first – very exciting! – ‘this is close: please try again’ letter from an editor. I worked to revise the story according to the notes and resubmitted. After many months of agonized waiting, I received a rejection: they really liked it, but not enough. I was crushed, but convinced I was so close. Meanwhile I was still looking for agents, and writing other things. I worked on other projects, but life was gathering up for implosion, and I wrote less. Story slowed down – it didn’t always show up when I asked for it, and it felt too much as though my reach not only exceeded my grasp but fell short halfway across the chasm. I struggled to finish anything, hoping that if I could just figure out the next story, I’d find my footing again.

I revised the first novel again over the next year. I submitted it to agents – and one of them decided she loved the book and took me on as a client! I was certain that my book would find a home now. I started a sequel on her advice, although I hadn’t planned one originally. I revised the first book again. But after several years, it was obvious we hadn’t found an editor who wanted to take a chance on this story. The words that had once felt so easy dried up. I wasn’t writing anymore.

Other parts of my life were bent on proving that sudden life-implosion is really no fun at all to actually live through, thus disproving the tortured artist trope. I felt tortured, certainly deeply unhappy, but I couldn’t write. Could. Not. Write. Considering writing was what had pulled me through other tough times of my life, I found myself lost. Story stopped showing up at all, even in my head. I stopped carrying notebooks and pens everywhere. There were several years where I wrote nothing, and I despaired of ever finding story again. I felt broken, because one thing I’d always counted on was story. Who was I if I didn’t make up stories, not even to myself? It frightened me that such a key piece of my personality could just disappear like that.

Slowly, with a lot of work and care, my life and my creative mind pieced themselves together again. I had ideas, and I started (a new) novel. I could write once more. It was such a relief, even when I floundered. At least story wasn’t gone from me.

Two years ago, my friend who is an editor was looking for manuscripts. We started discussing this at a party. My partner told him “Lindsey has a novel!” and emailed it to him on the spot from his phone. I felt worried and embarrassed. I downplayed it. “It got a lot of good feedback, but it needs work,” I told him. “I think it has some potential, but don’t feel obligated to read it. I haven’t looked at it in years.” He looked dubious, but said he’d read it. “I’m working on new things,” I said, trying to sound positive, realizing I am my own worst PR. “I think the new stuff is going really well. But feel free to read that one.” I smiled in an unconvincing manner and slunk away to introvert in another corner of the party.

Several weeks later, Fabulous Editor Jak ™ said he loved it – he had some ideas, and if I agreed to some changes, he’d like to publish it. Excited, I jumped at the chance. We discussed changes and ways to make the story better. I took the suggestion to make a certain minor character more important, to create a stronger tie to my protagonist, rather to heart. I kept thinking it wouldn’t take me too long to do this revision ….

I spent a year rewriting the whole book from scratch – same basic scenes, almost entirely different prose. With Hey Presto! Brand New Character Interaction and Growth. Except the hey presto! took me that whole year and a lot of banging my head on the keyboard. I rediscovered carrying notebooks around. I rewrote the old scenes by hand in the notebook, typed them up again later. I mulled. I scrawled. I called Jak and almost everyone I know in great gusts of nerves to ask what ifs and what thens. I … wrote. I wrote this novel. Again.

So that’s, let’s see – four major revisions, a long hiatus with bonus life implosion, an entire rewrite, then another revision (this one only took 2 months! I’m getting better) then copy edits. It took 18 years from that first sentence and character in my head to publication. And the words, while not as easy as they were in my halcyon youth, show up when I ask for them, at least most of the time. I am still friends with story, and sometimes story comes out to play.

This book went through many changes over those 18 years, but at the heart, it is the same story. The same character in a lot of trouble, who works really hard, through death and destruction and grief and doubt, to put her life back together again. Oh, and try to save the day, of course. From my older, and one hopes wiser position, I can appreciate the story – this story, that I wrote, mine – on new levels. Life implodes. If you work hard and hope, losing bits and pieces of yourself and adding others, pushing through pain and despair and the heartbreak and joy of other people, you can stitch something back together again. It might be mostly the same, but completely different. It might have scars and wrinkles and crabby knees. It might not look anything like you planned. But persistence pays off, and life and love are worth the work.

Title is from “If I Could Write” by Sam Phillips

Hello, second week of November! The first week was pretty … ok, yeah, I’m going to go with epic. For me, anyway. Let me detail the ways.

Sunday was the really big day – after the con was over (and some lunch and walking unplanned shenanigans happened), Julie, Scott and I headed over to Beaverton for the Powell’s big SF author signing. There were about 26 authors there, all to sign books. It was my very first official author event! And it was great!

  There I am, poised to sign. Not long after that picture was taken, where I’d said “I need someone to take a picture for my mom – I promised her there would be pictures.” – my parents surprised me by showing up! I don’t have pictures from them on that yet, but their friends, the Dawsons, were there with cameras at the ready to capture my surprised face. Aww. Awesome family is awesome. I had no idea they were driving up from CA to come to the event. Apparently they scoped out the joint the night before, and cautioned all the employees not to let me know. Not hard for the employees, as they don’t know me at all. But now I am semi-famous at the Beaverton Powell’s as the writer whose parents showed up to surprise her at her first big signing. Awwww.

Then they and the Dawsons proceeded to buy multiple copies of the book. Mrs. Dawson apparently loves it and gushes about it to all and sundry. Yay! And even though Mom already bought and read hers, Dad wants his own copy. So I signed a bunch of books, which was pretty nerve-wracking. And then a couple of people I don’t even know bought the book, and others took my cards, so maybe they will try it out later. And and and … we sold all but one of my books! So that was pretty exciting.

Scott also sold almost all the stock of his book a the signing – yay! A good time was had by all. We talked to authors and readers and bought books and sold books. It was a good night. And if you haven’t, you should most definitely check out his book Homefront, by Scott James Magner – it’s a fantastic SF book, and his first reading for it is tonight! 11/12 at 7pm at the University bookstore. Buy his book – it’s gorgeous inside and out.

After the signing, my parents and the Dawsons took Scott, Julie and me out to dinner. From there we had to drive back to Seattle, but it was decent traffic, and only a little heavy rain at the end. All in all, a good day.

Orycon itself, over that weekend, was fun. I ended up not really participating in the con  very much, due to nerves and a need to be away from people from time to time. I went to a few parties, and talked with people in the bar, and I ate food with folks, but I felt kind of overwhelmed by things. On Saturday, I went across the street to the mall for an errand, and ended up staying to watch a movie – “Big Hero 6” – which was great. I highly recommend the flick. There were kids as small as 3 in the audience, but I think it’s more appropriate for slightly older kids – maybe 6 and up. Depends on your kid, though, and how scared and/or bored they get. But I absolutely loved it. A+, will def see it again.

I did go to the memorial for Jay Lake on Saturday night, which was put together by Ken and Jen Scholes, and others. It was very emotional, but not in a terrible way. We all cried, and missed Jay, and felt the support of community. It was good to do, for some kind of closure. But it was hard, too. I’m both relieved not to have to do that again, and desperately sad that we had to do it at all. Fuck cancer.

Now it’s the second week of November. Scott’s reading is tonight, other friends have readings on Friday and then next Monday. The 3rd week sees my book officially out (!) on the 18th. Hooray! Then you’ll be able to order the ebook from various sources, if ebooks are what you prefer. Scott has another signing and reading at Powell’s in Beaverton on Weds. And then … and THEN … on Friday it’s the big day! My reading at University Bookstore – 11/21 at 7pm, upstairs. If you know you’re going, it might behoove you to pre-order the book. I have no idea how many people are coming, now. As many as possible! But I’ve lost track of the numbers. Possibly because I have so many things to keep track of. Like reading in public. I have to practice reading some more. I have to order a cake. (There will be cake.) I have to … try not to panic.

No panicking allowed. Picnicking, now, that is totally allowed. I approve of picnicking. Bring me some brie. Come to my reading, if you can. I’ll have someone take pictures. I’ll have goodies of the picnickable variety. I’ll have a slight panic attack. No, wait. I Will Not. But I might need your bright smiles to gladden my heart. Looking forward to it!

Title is from Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes

Here it is, the month that is All The Things All The Time – my month of the official-official release of my very first published work, my very first author signing, my very first author reading, and all that those Things entail. November! You are so busy I can hardly think straight.

“A Ragged Magic,” of course, is only technically not out yet. Both Amazon and Barnes & Noble will ship the physical copies to you now, if you want to buy through them. The ebooks, however, still seem to be waiting for the official release date of 11/18. 11/18 – date of official release! You may, of course, feel free to buy from wherever you choose, whenever you choose, in what format you prefer. There are other places to buy the book than the big online stores, however, if you would like that. Read on to find out more. (!)

This coming weekend I am going to Orycon, to hang out with writers and talk writery things and be social. This will be the first physical place where my book will be sold: In the dealer’s room, there’ll be a Per Aspera table, where all things Per Aspera will be sold, including my book. So if you’re going to Orycon, you can come by and see the book in the wild – so to speak. And me! I will be around. I should have pretty, pretty business cards and of course there’s the book. I can sign it for you, show it off, smile pretty for pictures. Boogie down with/near/around books – I’m usually up/down for a good boogie.

Also, if you’re in Portland this weekend (for Orycon or otherwise,) I’ll be participating in Powell’s “Sci-Fi Authorfest 8“, which is happening at the Powell’s Books in Cedar Hills Crossing on Sunday, 11/9, from 4-530 pm. My book will be there, too. There’ll be a lot of authors there, signing books, and I will be among them! Come buy books from Powell’s (you know you want to) and have me sign them! (Well, mine, anyway. Or others, if you like. If you buy them, you can do what you like with them.) So many lovely books, and all of us there, just hoping to sign them for you. I’ll have my purple pen and everything.

The following week is Scott’s reading at the University Bookstore here in Seattle. His new SF book “Homefront” is out and for sale and you should totally read it. It’s really good. Come to his reading, with Mark Teppo, and check it out for yourself!

There are a lot of really great readings at the University Bookstore happening this month, and I think I’m going to at least half of them. Social whirl, whee! You should check them out – it’s a great month for writers I know personally, and others I know not at all but I want to read their stuff. Books! Who doesn’t like books?

There’s my reading, of course, on 11/21, 7pm, at the U district store – which I’ve told you about already. Please do come. Feel free to pre-order books from University Bookstore – they’ll hold them for you until the reading. Feel free to order as many books as you’d like (mine, or any), of course. Ubooks is happy to hold or ship them to you! And if you can’t come to the reading, if you order through the store, I think they can make arrangements to have me sign it there and then they can hold it or ship it to you – although I don’t have any confirmation of that. I would like to sell my book either way, of course, and I’d like to make it worth the University Bookstore’s while to have me there. And I’d like to share this story with you, because I worked hard on it, and I think it’s good. In other (so many words) – buy books! Mine especially!

(My mom liked it – just in case you were wondering if I had family endorsements. She even had to call and leave me a detailed message about what she liked so much about it. Also my brother (the more critical one) said it was good and he enjoyed it, and he wanted to know what happens next. Which is a pretty big compliment coming from him. Family endorsements for the win! OK, Mom might seem like low-hanging fruit, but she reads as much or more than I do, so she’d just kindly tell me “It’s really not my thing, but you worked so hard!” if she didn’t like it. And Quinn would likely only say “Good job finishing something” if he thought it sucked. And my 9 year old nephew is reading it. That one … I don’t recommend exactly to those of you with young children. But, uh, his dad is letting him, so … I’ll let you know if he thought it had too much kissing. The death, I feel certain, he will approve of.)

The week after my reading is Turkey Day week, here in the States, and Mr. Sweetie and I will be traveling to the LA area to see a pretty large contingent of my fambly, including all the niecephews, at least one brother, two sisters-in-law, several cousins, a baby – 2nd? – cousin, both maternal aunts, and possibly my uncle. And my parents, too. Which will be fantastic, and also full of the stress of traveling on the worst US travel days of the year. I’m hoping for relatively easy flights. And some nice time soaking in all the fambly stuff.

The last week of November is slightly less hectic, but for recovering from travel, recovering from going to all the readings, and at least one more reading. Which will conclude All The Things All The Time month, and start December, which is similarly fraught with All The Other Things. But hey, books! Books galore! All the books! Get some books, my friends. I can’t recommend it enough.

Title is from Great Big Sea’s version of “Come and I Will Sing You (The 12 Apostles)”

EDIT: I see in reading this post over that I was on an “of course” and “however” bender. Please ignore half of them. Of course.

Hey all youse folkses! I will be having my first official reading and signing at the University Bookstore (Seattle) in the U district, on 11/21 at 7 pm! (Address is 4326 University Way NE in Seattle.) You can come see about me (see what I did there) and hear the first chapter in person, and get the book signed by yours truly! This is very exciting stuff going on, my lovelies. And I’m super nervous and excited about it all.

There is parking behind the store, and they validate if you buy a book from them (which is why you’re there, right?) If you’ve already bought/pre-ordered your book, you can bring it and I will sign it anyway. But if you do that, please buy a different book from Ubooks, so they get their money’s worth from the event. Support your local bookstores! And if you know you’re coming and will be buying my book there, if you can let me know, so I can tell the store how many they might expect, and how many books it might be good to have on hand, that might be good, too. Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing, but that seems a sensible idea, right? I’m just trying to be courteous.

And for those of you who hadn’t heard, it does seem that if you “pre-order” a hardcopy version of the book from Amazon or Barnes & Noble, they’re just sending them along right now anyway, a good month ahead of the actual release date. So, uh, happy reading? I hope you enjoy, if you’ve already received it. I’m scared/proud/happy/nervous about everyone reading it. (If you’ve pre-ordered the ebook, apparently you have to wait for 11/18, as was the original plan. So much for plans.)

To recap: Books – some are out in the world! Official Reading: I’m having one on 11/21 – please come! Nervous bats flapping around in my innards – I have them!

Title is from The Supremes “Come See About Me,” natch.

OK,everyone – you can now officially pre-order my book! Later, I’ll put up more permanent links at the bottom of the page, or something, but for now – lookity look! Have yourself a merry little booktasia!

Indiebound …

Amazon …

Barnes & Noble …

Powells … (no image yet, but still!)

You can look at all of these pretty links and more (i.e. other places to pre-order the ebook) at the Per Aspera page. Jak is doing a lot of work to make it all lovely and user friendly.

This is just a quick post to let you know about the pre-ordering option – it’s so exciting! It’s all so almost real and stuff! In a month and 10 or so days my book will be officially released into the wild, to test its wings and fly free. I hear it’s a good story. I think you should check it out.

Yay book!

Changing seasons are bittersweet, I suspect for many people. There’s this tender feeling of new beginnings, and a wish for never-endings, and I always feel flip-floppy between shiny and new and woefully unprepared and weary from the last season. Fall is especially shiny and new feeling, likely due to the deep childhood training of new school years, complete with new notebooks and classes and jackets, etc. When autumn starts, it seems like it’s time to update all my promises to myself to be better at this, or make more of an effort at that. I want a shiny new Trapper Keeper, and brand new lists.

This autumn I have all these new marketing experiences of a newly published author – I have bookstores to contact, and conventions to ask if they want me on panels, (Note: Eeeeeeeep) which I’ve never done yet, and all the trimmings. Today I sent an email query to a pretty well-known author to basically ask for a favor, involving my book. He doesn’t know me, and though he knows people who know me, I don’t think he knows that. That was too many ‘knows’ in one sentence. Anyway, it’s a favor he gets asked all the time, as he hosts a thing on his website, so it won’t seem weird to him (unless I did it wrong Oh crap WHAT IF I DID IT WRONG OK, just checked the email again, I spelled his name correctly, and it went to the right address, I have to stop worrying about that) but it’s one of those things I get anxious about: introducing myself to people I don’t know, asking for favors. Doing it wrong. It’s a particular monster-under-the-bed of mine that I will Do Things Wrong and Everyone Will Jeer, which is possibly left over from my childhood of constantly doing things wrong and having people jeer. I realize this is a common happening in a lot of childhoods. I just apparently didn’t handle it all that well.

Which makes contacting people, asking for things, and doing this Book Marketing stuff a bit nerve wracking. Not that I won’t do it, not that I’m not doing it. It just means that I’m doing these things with bile roiling in my gut and a feeling that my heart is a lump, constricting inside my chest into its iron elements, sinking lower. Hi, professional person – please go with the perception that I am also a professional, and ignore the hyperventilating fake wizard in the corner. I am so very pleasant and breezy, and not at all about to urp. I swear. Maybe everyone is like this. Maybe we’re all only pretending to professional and breezy and secretly trying not to urp. At least, I suspect, there’s a contingent of us. We should make a secret sign – some kind of badge or hand signal, letting us know that the professional breeziness is just an act, and in fact we’d like to gibber a bit unprofessionally, would that be OK? Maybe something on our Trapper Keepers. Let’s work on that.

But onward I go, slowly and with the basics of life rocketing around me as though I weren’t gripping this newness with unsteady hands. I have a real, professional author photo, taken by my friend Jared Ream, who is an awesome photographer.

(See? So breezy. Look at that professional breeziness. Jared did not just tell me to breathe right before that. Swearsies.) (Photo credit Jared Ream Photography)

I have this here nifty website that I need to make more use of. I have a page on Per Aspera’s website, that is so very cool, with my very pretty book cover and cool professional author pic. I have such lovely blurbs from such loverly people as Ken Scholes, John Pitts, and Shannon Page! You should go read those blurbs. Look at how kind they are about my story! Don’t you want to read it now? It makes me feel all warm and gushy inside.

I’m going to be at Orycon in Portland in November, and I’ll have books there to sign and sell (I don’t think I’m going to be on any panels, as I inquired too late), and I’ll be at the book signing event on that Sunday, November 7^th, even though that’s a couple weeks before the book is officially out. I understand it’s kind of a big meet and greet with all the authors after Orycon is over. I will likely be standing next to Shannon Page, trying not to cling to her too obviously. But I will be there: authorly, professional, breezy. Only clingy if you look from the side and realize I have Shannon’s arm in a death grip. (Hi Shannon! Uh, wear long sleeves.)

I have a reading set up for University Books here in the U district in Seattle, on November 21st, at 7 pm. It will be my first official reading and signing as a published author, since that will be the Friday after the book comes out (November 18^th, y’all – friendly reminder!) Duane Wilkins is being super kind and accommodating in setting it all up. It’s very exciting and very nerve wracking. I’m thinking of having backup dancers. I might stuff my face with cake the whole time. I will definitely have books to sign, and I will read from it, (with some interpretive dance in the background) and then there will be some more cake of some sort, because I think I deserve cake after that.

I am also querying other local bookstores about doing readings, but I don’t yet have any confirmation on those.

Look at all that autumnal new author stuff! And since I turned in my final proof edits several weeks ago, I am Officially Done with all fiction related to A Ragged Magic. Done! Free! I can’t change anything else, however much I might want to! I can instead focus entirely on new fiction for the next book. Which I’ll be writing in my shiny new metaphorical Trapper Keeper. You know, when I’m not freaking out about all this other stuff. In a breezy, professional manner. Really need to work on that badge.

Title is from ‘Happiness’ by The Weepies

Lally do dum lally do dum day…

So I have something to show all y’all. It’s super pretty, and it’s super exciting, and it’s my very own book cover for my very own book! That totally has a release date and everything!

That’s right, A Ragged Magic is coming out on November 18th, 2014, and will have the following beautamous cover, by the talented and wonderful Angie Abler, who did such a fantastic job.

Isn’t it just gorgeous? I love it so much. I can’t wait to see it in person, and hold a real, honest-to-goodness book that I wrote. I’m totally an author, guys! I have a book cover, and everything. I’m so happy about it, I can barely stand it. [emoticon of giant grin that is too large to fit onto actual emoticons]

Many other things in my life are stressful at the moment, although they’re calming down little by little. But the cover – I did not worry about the cover looking wonderful. I knew it was in good hands. Angie is one of the more talented people I know.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve known Angie since I was 5 and she was 6, and 1st grade was 4 weeks from starting. She’d just moved into the house one over from mine, and she came over to ask if there were any kids who wanted to come and play. I don’t remember that part. I remember playing pretend with our Barbies out in the cul-de-sac, which we called The Circle. She was so easy to play with, and we had so much fun, and she had some of the best ideas ever. It was epic story time with our dolls and I couldn’t believe there was someone else who wanted the same kind of elaborate, crazy-fun back stories I did. (At 5, the back stories might have been a little less fleshed out than I try for now. But they had a lot of flying in them.) I remember when she transferred into 1st grade (she didn’t start the year in our school) I was so proud to be able to say I already knew her. We have been playing pretend ever since. She is the bestest friend, and bestest pretend partner ever. And now she’s made me this fantastic cover, and I’m so happy.

(Her professional accolades are great, too – but I’m doing this late and without asking, so I hate to link to her info without checking. But I will ask, and link if I get the OK. She’s a super graphic designer and artist, but since I’ve known her for almost 40 years (oh, ow, that hurts) I get to list her qualities as best friend first.)

It’s my birthday next Monday. Happy birthday to me. And happy book cover! I do not have to yell fire when I fall into the chocolate, so that someone will save me. (Although I contend that yelling “chocolate” will get someone to at least investigate.) I can just yell “Book Cover” so you will take a gander and get excited about my book.

I am overdue for an update here. So many things going on, so little time.

The first news for this update is: the book has been delayed. Per Aspera wants to give a few fancy places a chance to review A Ragged Magic (not a guarantee, but one can but try), and since some of our back and forth took up valuable send-it-in time, we have pushed back the release date to October or November, actual date TBD. Meanwhile, I have (with SO MUCH HELP because I AM TERRIBLE AT SYNOPSES OMG) finished the synopsis to send out with blurb copies and such, so that those kind souls who have promised to consider blurbing the book may look over the synopsis first, and see if they’re interested. Eeeeeeek.

It’s an interesting time for me, as a newly almost-published author. There are all sorts of things to do related to the book coming out, that are hard to keep track of. (Well, hard for me, in this not-very-organized current state of mine, due to non-book circumstances that are OUT OF CONTROL, through the fault of a Cruel and Disinterested Universe, Adventure is Some Other Poor Shmuck Having a Terrible Time of it division.) Because the things that need doing aren’t related to the writing of the book, but rather to the publishing of it. Marketing things, that involve asking for blurbs and reviews, or trying to get on panels at conventions, or asking local bookstores to host signing events – none of which I have ever done before, and all of which are nerve-wracking to me. Partly because they are new experiences, and I worry about doing it wrong. (Newsflash – I am someone who always worries about doing it wrong. No one who knows me is surprised.) And partly because these new experiences involve asking for attention from others, some of whom are strangers, and that is not at all my strong suit. Why am I a writer and not, say, a public speaker? Because I get to do most of my craft inside my own head. I like it here. It’s nice. (Where “nice” = “colorful and perhaps crazy, but it’s my crazy and I’m used to it”.) (Shoutout to Was Not Was song ‘I’m in Jail’.)

Regardless of my shy, introverted druthers, I must learn these marketing tricks, and speak with real live people, or at least email them, and ask for the blurbs, and see if I can attend conventions as a pro, and find out what needs to be done to have a reading and signing event at the local bookstores. It’s all very possible – I’ve managed to speak to humans I don’t know before, and live my life like a mother*$%ing adult (shoutout to Hyperbole and a Half). It takes up a lot of my energy, and I’m low on energy to spare these days, but I can schedule my time so that all of this happens. These are on my to-do list for August. My to-do list for August, both as a writer, and for my everyday life, is long and complicated and on the “Oh god WHAT NOW” side of horrifying. So we’ll just have to see how it all goes.

Which brings me to my other news, which is less book-related and more life-related: Scott and I are in the middle of a very stressful move, and I’m behind on just about everything that is related to me getting anything done at all. We have very kind and generous friends who are helping out as they can, and we are so grateful for help and time and effort given by everyone. But that doesn’t negate the realities of our situation, which are, if not deadly dire, at the very least upsetting and stressful and far less than ideal. We are managing, but my coping skills are entirely used up and I am completely out of can. Or even. Or any of those things. So my ambitious plans of blog posts at least once a week and content and funny stories and pictures and stuff, well, that was probably pipe dreams until I can get myself back into some sort of routine. One where I don’t spend most of every day worried and nauseated and frantically searching rental listings and trying to schedule people to do things and getting storage units and having insurance things faxed around and flinging about large sums of money we don’t have and talking to strangers (more of them) and packing endless boxes and wondering why do we have so much crap, anyway, and hoping that someday, we’ll look back on all of this and laugh.

Someday.

In the meantime, I am attending to endless details, trying to remember how to breathe, and percolating my story brain so that when things settle down, I can just let it all out. 

Title is from ‘Jacob’s Ladder’ by Huey Lewis and the News

So here it is, my brand new sparkling website! It’s so … new. And empty. And it’s intimidating the heck out of me. Hi website. I will try to have, erm, I believe it’s called ‘content’. I will be gradually moving all my posts from my Livejournal account over here. (frabjouslinz.livejournal.com) I’ll keep the Livejournal, too, mirroring my posts there, and sending people here from my facebook page. Oh, and I suppose I shall have to get me one a’ them author page thingies on facebook, as well. And business cards. And blurbs. And an elevator pitch that doesn’t sound like I’m trying to burrow under the floor of the elevator to keep people from noticing me. What? My book? Yes, it does have a plot. And I know what it is, too. Uh.

A Ragged Magic officially debuts on September 16th – my novel of “Teenage witch survives life-threatening danger and terrible grief, and must learn to use an ill-gained, untrustworthy magic to save herself and the ones she loves from death and destruction.” Such as it is. That’s the improved pitch. It’s a lot better than it was, but I worry it’s a little off. Does it make you interested in the book? Does it make sense to even put the description here? The official description written by my editor is on the Per Aspera website (perasperapress.com), and calls my book lyrical and moving. I do hope so. I worked my butt off to make it that way, and it’s gratifying to know at least one person thinks it paid off.

I find it hard to encompass all the things that I need to do to get ready for this debut, and all the things that I need to do after the debut, to help make it a success. It’s nothing more than what I have always wanted, which makes the stress dreams so much more vivid. My brain says ‘hey, I know what let’s do, let’s have lots of dreams about being late and lost, failing tests, forgetting major aspects of your job, royally screwing up so there’s no way to fix things … that will help to calm you down! Right? No? Huh.’

In other words, I am intimidating the heck out of me. Ambition is an interesting weapon I wield against myself. I want people to read and enjoy my book. But all the things that one must do to get that book out there so people know it exists and what it’s about? Makes me feel (as many a writer before me, I’m sure) as though I’m clinging onto a fraying rope tied to a derelict, straining airship whilst standing on quicksand in a full force gale. Hi. I’d let go of this rope to offer you my card, but we both might die. Ok, some of that might just be me, and not other writers. But the imagery feels apt. It’s a hazardous profession, writing – at least in my head. Which is pretty much the point, isn’t it? My head, it’s full of really cool stuff. I’ll share it with you, but I’m afraid it might kill us all. Mostly me. Let’s be honest: most of my head-chatter isn’t dangerous to anyone else. 

Probably.

But just to be sure, here’s the lyrics from “Putting it Together” as sung by Barbara Streisand, because hey, Sondheim and Streisand are awesome, and so is this song. And it conveys a little of what I’m feeling, although my art is neither lasers nor music. But it’s kind of a cool mixture of both, up in my head. And hopefully in yours.

(I promise to be less confusing at least once or twice on this website of mine. But prepare yourselves, if you’re new. I’m usually only barely comprehensible, even to me. But sometimes I’m entertaining, and I’m hoping that’s enough.)

“Putting it Together” by Stephen Sondheim, originally from “Sunday in the Park with George,” as sung by Barbara Streisand. I will now be humming this all day. You’re welcome.

[Barbra:] Look, I’ve spent a lot of time working on this
[Producer 1:] Look, no one’s gonna buy it — no one.
[Producer 2:] No one in Middle America, anyway. That’s for sure.
[Producer 3:] He’s right!
[Producer 1:] Sweetheart, it’s just not commercial!
[Barbra:] What is commercial?
[Producer 2:] It’s not what’s selling nowadays.
[Producer 1:] I mean – personally, I love it, but
[Barbra (sung):]Be nice, girl!
[Producer 3:] Nobody’s into this kind of material.
[Barbra (sung):] You have to pay a price, girl!
[Producer 2:] This album needs a hit single we can push.
[Barbra (sung):]They like to give advice, girl!
[Producer 1:] The whole idea’s too risky.
[Barbra (sung):] Don’t think about it twice, girl!
[Producer 2:] The audience won’t understand this kind of thing!
[Barbra (sung):]It’s time to get to work!
Barbra (spoken): I disagree! Why don’t you wait until you hear it?
[Producer 3:] This is like your old stuff!
[Barbra (sung):] Art isn’t easy.
[Producer 3:] You’ve got to appeal to the kids.
[Barbra (sung):] Even when you’re hot.
[Producer 2:] Why would you want to make an album like this anyway?
[Barbra (sung):] Advancing art is easy.
[Producer 1:] I think we ought to talk seriously about this.
[Barbra (sung):] Financing it is not!
[Producer 2:] Why take chances?
[Barbra (sung):] A vision’s just a vision if it’s only in your head!
[Producer 1:] Nobody respects your artistic integrity more than I do, but
[Barbra (sung):] If no one gets to hear it, it’s as good as dead!
[Producer 2:] You have to think about you career!
[Barbra (sung):] It has to come to life!
Bit by bit, putting it together
Piece by piece, only way to make a work of art
Every moment makes a contribution
Every little detail plays a part
Having just a vision’s no solution
Everything depends on execution
Putting it together, that’s what counts!
Ounce by ounce, putting it together
Small amounts, adding up to make a work of art
First of all you need a good foundation
Otherwise it’s risky from the start
Takes a little cocktail conversation
But without the proper preparation
Having just a vision’s no solution
Everything depends on execution
The art of making art
Is putting it together, bit by bit
[Producer 2:] Do we really need all these musicians?
[Barbra:] Link by link, making the connections, yes we do!
Drink by drink, taking every comment as it comes
Learning how to play the politician
Like you play piano, bass and drums
Otherwise you’ll find your composition
Isn’t gonna get much exhibition
Art isn’t easy
Every minor detail is a major decision
Have to keep things in scale
Have to hold to your vision
[Producer 1:] Why don’t we talk about this over dinner, darling?
What’s a little cocktail conversation
If it gets the funds for your foundation
Every time I start to feel defensive
I remember vinyl is expensive!
[Producer 3:] Would you agree to do an interview?
[Barbra:] Maybe one!
Dot by dot, building up the image
Shot by shot, keeping at a distance doesn’t pay
Still if you remember your objective
Not give all your privacy away
A little bit of hype can be effective
As long as you can keep it in perspective
Even when you get some recognition
Everything you do you still audition
Art isn’t easy
Overnight you’re a trend
You’re the right combination
Then the trend’s at an end
You’re suddenly last year’s sensation!
All they ever want is repetition
All they really like is what they know
Gotta keep a link with your tradition
Gotta learn to trust your intuition
While you re-establish your position
So that you can be on exhibit…
So that your work can be on exhibition!
Be new, girl!
They tell you till they’re blue, girl!
You’re new, or else you’re through, girl!
And even if it’s true, girl,
You do what you can do!
Bit by bit, Putting it together
Piece by piece, working on the vision night and day
All it takes is time and perseverance
With a little luck along the way
Putting in a personal appearance
Gathering supporters and adherents…
[Producer 1:] Well, she’s an original!
[Producer 3:] WAS!
[Barbra:] Mapping out the songs but in addition
Harmonizing each negotiation
Balancing the part that’s all musicians
With the part that’s strictly presentation
Balancing the money with the mission
Till you have the perfect orchestration
Even if you do have the suspicion
That it’s taking all your concentration
The art of making art
Is putting it together, bit by bit
Beat by beat, part by part
Sheet by sheet, chart by chart
Track by track, bit by bit,
Reel by reel, pout by pout
Stack by stack, snit by snit,
meal by meal, shout by shout
Deal by deal, spat by spat
Shpiel by shpiel, doubt by doubt
And that… Is the state of the art!